And so the ride finally ends...

04-03-2014

 
WE'RE FINALLY OFF THE FERRIS WHEEL. HOLY FUUUUUUUCK

I'm even more excited than you are.

That's the end of Episode 9! For those of you who are new to the site, as per usual the individual updates have been combined into a full episode once they were all finished. You might notice that the Episode 9.1 intermission is missing, but don't worry, I'm going to reupload it once the first update of Episode 10 is finished, so that it sits separately from the rest of the episode.

My bad on not getting this up as early as I promised, but it kind of couldn't be helped. Also, I'm sure many of you noticed that I somehow managed to forget to pay my domain fees yesterday, resulting in the site being down for some time. Y'know, the exact same stupid thing I did last year. (Fool me twice...)

...So I guess there was an April Fools prank on the right day after all! (But am I the pranker or the fool?)

Anyway, enough of the lighthearted stuff, lets talk about serious shit. And by serious shit I mean muppetcide. As you all know our dearest Nuzpet was recently taken from us in a gross miscarriage of justice. We must try to be strong for his sake.

...and you can show your support by buying this commemorative T-Shirt in the site shop!:
 

(Click me to buy. All proceeds go to Nuzpet's widow.)
 
#JusticeForNuzpet
-Nuzlocke

Happy April Fools Day?

04-01-2014

 
...or is it "merry" April Fools Day...?

...Who cares.

Either way there's no prank today (unless the joke is that I DID update?) because I'm dumb and I don't know when April Fools Day is. Yesterday's blog post was supposed to be the Aprist 1st post, but of course I uploaded it a little before midnight not realizing there were more than 30 days in March (seriously, since when?)

...Y'know, the above blogpost picture really sums up how I felt the next morning when I looked at my phone and saw "March 31st."

So yeah, Hard-Mode lives! The truth is updates on Hard-Mode really slowed down due to me obessively working on my secret project (which is looking more and more like something that will actually see the light of day) for a few weeks. After realizing how long I'd gone without an update, I was about to rush one out when I remembered that I'd never successfully pulled an April Fools prank for thsi site (unless you count me forgetting to pay my hosting bill last year...)

So I thought of a stupid joke and decided to postpone updates until April. Worth it right? Right? (r-right..?)

Also I should mention that today's update was going to be a bit longer and (FINALLY) end Episode 9 of Hard-Mode, but I cut off the last bit after deciding to rework it at the last minute. It should be up tomorrow though. 

Oh, and uh, after reading the comments for the past two blog posts I feel like I need to make a small public service announcement: cops don't shoot people for jaywalking. Apparently some of you didn't know that and, y'know, you probably should.

...Nuzpet really is dead though. RIP.

Anyway, I'll have more to say tomorrow with the end of the update, I need to seriously catch some z's right now.

We back.
-The Real Nuzlocke (...OR IS IT??)

a slight misunderstanding

03-31-2014
hello again

it is I, your beloved new nuzlocke, though I now realize that perhaps I was never really such a thing (but I suppose now is not the time to dwell on such philosophy)

I return not to provide you with new content, but to disperse some unfortunate misinformation that I may have had a hand in perpetuating.

it appears that I was mistaken when I identified the man who died in my arms last month as the person you all know as nuzlocke. as it turns out, it was actually the man's puppet counterpart, popularly known as "Nuzpet" (pictured below)


I'm sure you can understand how due to their uncanny resemblence this was an easy mistake to make, and I apologize to anyone who was emotionally traumatized by this honest misunderstanding.

I'm told th real nuzlocke is very much alive, and when made aware of the fact that his death had been posted on the internet he was said to have commented "what the fuck no I'm just busy. I'm gonna update tomorrow jesus."

While I'm sure many of you are glad to hear that the original nuzlocke still walks this earth, I know that just as many are likely saddened by the death of our beloved Nuzpet. Truly he was taken from us too soon.

as for what this means for me, the man formerly known as Nuzlocke, that's not an answer I currently possess. after gaining a new identity and having it stripped from me just as quickly, it's hard to say if I really even know who I am anymore. Hopefully I can find myself again.

for the moment I've decide to take up blogging. I've heard it's very therapeutic: http://nuzlocketwo.tumblr.com/

thank you my loyal fans, for all the good times we've shared together. I cherish them more than you can ever know.

may we meet again
-the man formerly known as nuzlocke

tragedy

03-27-2014
hello

I'm sorry to say that I come bearing terrible news. I should first mention that I am not nuzlocke, and this is not my web site.

you see, the person you know as nuzlocke is dead.

I know this may come as a shock to many of you out there, but to others I'm sure it also explains a great deal. nuzlocke's untimely passing is the reason for the lack of content these past few weeks. it was only recently that I decided it was only fair to let you his fans know the reason for his disappearance.

as some of you may have noticed, the last recorded activity of nuzlocke on the internet was over one month ago on february 24th when he posted this tweet:


i'm sorry to report that this was the last bit of content nuzlocke will ever contribute to the internet. as i'm sure you're already piecing together, nuzlocke (real name Terrence Finglebum) was gunned down by said police officers for his reckless ignorance of pedestrian right of way laws. 

it was in this terrible display of justice that i came to know nuzlocke, although briefly. having never visited this site, I knelt by the man as he lay coughing up blood onto the asphalt. I remember his words very vividly: "fuck man I never even got a 3DS."

It was shortly after this that nuzlocke (or T-Fingly as he liked to be called) left the world of the living. I felt that from our short interaction that I had come to know the man and what he represented very intimately. I knew immediately that I was meant to carry on his work and keep the legacy alive. still, I faltered under the awesome responsibility, and it took over a month to type the words you're reading now.

I would appreciate it if you would all refer to me as nuzlocke from now on, though I will also accept nuzlocke 2 or nuzlocko dos. I know that together we can keep this great site alive and even surpass its old quality with a new golden age of nuzlocke.com.

Lastly, as a first order of business I will be canceling all of the current nuzlocke comics as I feel they are all terrible. I will however be continuing nuzlocke's "Middle Earth Diaries" youtube series as I feel it was T-Fingly's crowning achievement as a web content provider.

"it all happens because it's supposed to"
-nuzlocko dos

Be careful what you wish for...

01-23-2014

 
So, I'm sure you all thought I wasn't updating Hard-Mode because I'm some kind of lazy jerk, but after reading this update you'll know the terrible truth: I was protecting you! 

Your precious update brings you only death and misery! Your demands have ended his life--he would have lived had the comic never updated again! 

Shame on you all.

....Aaanyway, it feels really good to finally get another update up. I'd been procrastinating on this one pretty hard due to general business and some tricky coloring on some of the panels. For those of you who are tired of the Ferris Wheel (Arceus Christ, I know I am...) there are only about 2-3 more updates in Episode 9, so rejoice! 

Now I just need to get Space Cat moving again....another day, another challenge.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy! (You monsters)
-Nuzlocke


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